Spring Inside Me

A state of mind: confused and stressed out; tired and lack motivation. Spring wind blowing calling for change. I see and I listen. In the deepest parts of myself I can hear my inner spring crying out. That I ignore while sitting in a pile of crap sipping my cold coffee. I know what needs to be done. I know how I will do it. I know in which order I have to do it. I know everything I need to know to make a change. I think a little more about it. Forgets it. Being reminded at night, in dreams.

Planning makes future realistic only when the plan is executable. Realizing once limits is key for planning. My limits are in my mind – limitless. In reality, they are human. Refusal is common – need to make most of the time. Rest I can do once dead. Thoughts are easy. Life is hard. I believe I am done thinking – time for execution.

State of mind: restless and down; partly self-loathing; partly self-love. Eat. Sleep. Work. No writing. No creative mind overflowing with ideas, of Mars and spring and change. Close to numb. Indifferent. Maybe even apathetic. It is a dangerous state of mind to be in – not caring about my surrounding society and my fellow comrades living here. I do not even care about my own mental and physical health.

Pushing forward spring cleaning will be done, in time, and for the first time in years. I can feel the wind of change and I will ride the wave it creates before me, ride it for as long as I can. Gray will become green. Summer is on the horizon – staring and longing for it. Always!

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Author: Alaska Frank

Who is Alaska Frank? Some would describe him as a strange fellow with really messed up ideas. Maybe that’s true as his scripts are pretty damn odd. And brutal. For me, Alaska Frank is my personal way to handle reality. He’s my alter ego I created long ago to match the way I feel. The name Alaska points to my cold heart and no feeling of regret or shame or any other feelings for that matter. Frank stands for my honesty to everyone in any given situation. Some might take this as something offensive and become mad or sad or both while others appreciate it. My alter ego Alaska Frank has grown over the years and has now, in recent times he has become a real person for me. Even if you can’t meet Alaska Frank in real person he exist within me and follows me everywhere and I can bring him out whenever I need him. This might sound odd, like I escape the reality, afraid to meet the harsh. This is not the case. Alaska Frank is me and has always been me. It’s just not until my later years I realized it. Call it an identity crisis. Or any other thing if you like. But the fact is – I am Alaska Frank. And will always be. And I identify myself with my own creation. The main occupation for Alaska is writing, mostly drama for the stage but at some occasions he also writes fiction novels and poetry. He is fond charmed by the things presented with an open mind, things created to think and philosophize about. A bit of odd dark humor thrown in to it does not hurt either. Alaska Frank is pretty open with his projects he’s working on and if you are interested you can read small and early synopsis-like presentations of a bunch of stories he has in the Upcoming project and Current Project-pages. Feel free to comment on everything you read on this blog, either it’s posts or pages. I will answer if there’s a question in hand. Something else you might want to know: Alaska Frank is from Sweden, hence his main language are not English. He writes in English for the simple reason to learn, so if you read any of the content on this blog feel free to comment on this matter.

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