I have a problem. A big one. It’s called LIFE. I don’t have a problem with life itself but rather a problem making the most of it. Almost every night, a few hours before bedtime, I get this thought: tomorrow I will begin anew. It never happens as once I wake my inspiration and motivation is lost and the energy-levels to get up and do something productive is non-existent.
Planning does not seem to work for me. I have tried using both physical and digital solutions, simple to really complex. Entering the data into the planners is no problem, it’s sticking to it that I fail on. I kind of know what I want to do but in the past few years I seem to not be able to work towards my goals. A psychiatrist once told me that I “have lost my start engine, but there does not seem to be any wrong with the actual engine.” With this in mind I do know I have to make some maintenance.
Going back a few years: once I had a lot on my plate – school, work, theater, chairman of a board and on top of that trying to find time to write – but now days I have begun to scale down. As it sits today I only have work and my chairman-position. I have announced my retirement from the chairman position. The reasons being I feel the need to simplify my life and get the time to focus on other things – writing – and be able to relax when I get home from my regular work.
In the long run my hopes are that clearing out my schedule leaving only work left I will in time find my way back to writing, the part of my life that is the only thing that sticks. Often I get interested in something, do it for a while and then loose the interest. Writing is so far the only thing that has stuck for a longer period of time and I do not think I will ever loose my interest in it.
I can not be the only one dealing with this disconnection, this trouble to be productive and inspired. So the question that I have to ask is: how does one get out of it? How did you get back into the groove?